Tag Archives: grandpa

Eat Good, Die Happy

I was chatting recently with a buddy of mine that I’ve known for more than 20 years.  During that time, we worked together at three different places over the years in various capacities in different types of jobs. And we have kept in touch for much of that 20 plus years. Mostly we would talk about our kids, our relationships, and what mutual friends and former coworkers were doing. Lately, most of our keeping in touch is about doctor visits at the VA and cooking.  Since we’re both veterans and like to eat, we have a lot to talk about on both subject. 

In our recent conversation, he brought up having to change his diet for his health.  I told him that’s the worst part about getting the lab results at a doctor’s appointment.  I went on to tell him that I don’t mind dying one day, but I’d like to die happy.  Seriously, if I knew I was going to live this long I certainly would have taken better care of myself.  Coincidentally, I had just had an appointment with my primary care doctor at the VA the same day we were chatting and, among other things, the doctor went over my lab results from the previous week.  I, too, need to make a couple small changes.

This conversation with my long-time friend sparked a memory from my very early teenage years.  I was probably 12 or 13 years old, at my grandparent’s house on one of the many trips we used to take to visit them.  One evening, Grandpa pulled something out of the refrigerator for a snack.  Grandma scolded him, saying that the doctor told him not to eat that because it would kill him.  Grandpa put the lid back on the container, put it back in the fridge, and went about his business. No complaining, no arguing. That was the end of that.  Or was it? 

The next morning Grandpa and I were up early, probably getting ready to go out on his boat or some other adventure on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  At one point while getting ready for our day, Grandpa got in the fridge and had that snack that he had been warned about the previous night.  Did he forget about being chastised by Grandma?  How could he forget something as important as not eating a specific food that would kill him?  I couldn’t believe it so I chimed in and reminded him.  “Grandpa, you can’t eat that!  Grandma said it would kill you!”  Grandpa smiled and what he said still resonates with me today.

Grandpa said, “Well, I’ll die happy then.”  And that was it.  That’s all he said about it.  He didn’t ask me to keep it a secret.  He didn’t try to explain or rationalize it.  He just wanted to eat whatever was in that old butter tub that was used for leftovers.  I can’t for the life of me remember what the food in question was.  And I have no idea what his lab results were that would make him have to change his diet, but he didn’t seem to care.  He was going to keep being himself no matter what the doctors suggested.  He was doing what made him happy. 

I’ve always been that way with food.  I don’t remember ever turning down a cheeseburger or pizza or biscuits and gravy.  And I love to cook.  If you are on my Facebook page, you’ve likely seen hundreds of food pictures.  Some pictures of the food I cook at home, some pictures of food at restaurants we like to go to.  I have a drawer full of printed recipes and a ton of screenshots on my phone of even more recipes.  I love to cook and I love to eat.  My Facebook page and my belly are proof.

For much of my adult life I was able to counter the effects of eating all kinds of good food by staying in shape.  I should probably point out that when I say “good food,” that doesn’t mean healthy “good,” it means tastebuds “good.”  But anyway, I would run a few miles a few times a week, occasionally do a little workout, and, of course, being in the Army Reserves we did a lot of activities that encouraged staying in shape.  Well, at least in “good enough” shape for me.  At any single point in my adult life, I could have benefited from losing 5 or 10 pounds to trim up my gut.  But that never bothered me because I was healthy, in decent shape, and could run for miles.  Not fast, but slow and steady miles.  I felt good,  I looked good, I was going to eat what I wanted. 

Let’s fast-forward to me now being in my mid-50s.  Add the aches, pains, injuries, surgeries, and other issues from working hard all my life. I now find it considerably harder to counter those effects from eating what I want, when I want.  I can’t do some of the things I used to.  And I miss doing those things, like running, working a “real” job, and just being more active in general.  I have a long list of problems that have developed over the last 5-10 years from my previous military service.  I’m planning on doing a blog entry of all those things in the near future.  Especially now that we seem to be figuring out some of the issues.  Well, maybe not figuring it all out as much as managing things.  That’s a mess of a story for another time. 

My lab results at my recent appointment weren’t horrible.  There are just a couple areas I need to address, nothing dire.  But I want to address those areas without adding to what seems like a myriad of medications that I’m already on.  I guess I should point out that some of those medications are why my labs aren’t worse.  But I don’t want more pills, I want fewer.  And when I asked my doctor about downsizing my pill collection, he said there was only one medicine that he might consider discontinuing.  So, I have to decide to either eat better (as in healthy), instead of just eating “good” the way I like to, or get back to where I can do some kind of exercise regularly.  The exercise part has become difficult since getting a joint replaced in my foot a few years ago.  After two surgeries, my foot still will never be good enough to run like I used to. Or walk long distances or even stand in one place for more than a little while.

So here’s the plan.  I’m going to keep eating what I like to eat because being happy is important to me.  But I’m also going to mix in a few salads and some healthy choices.  I will get back on my step-elliptical.  I was doing that regularly before my last foot surgery. I think I can still do it because of the minimal bend it requires with toes.  I won’t do anything crazy or drastic to change my lifestyle all at once. That rarely works for anyone. But there a handful of little things I plan to do for starters.  And then eventually build on that.  We’ll see how it goes.

I think Grandpa had the right idea, to some extent, about dying happy.  He went on to live for about 10 more years after that early morning conversation we had sometime around 1983.  Apparently, whatever it was he ate that morning wasn’t going to make him drop dead on the spot.  And whatever it was, I’m certain he ate it whenever he could get away with it.  But he was probably smart enough to only eat it once in a while, and only while Grandma wasn’t looking. Especially while Grandma wasn’t looking.

I think this is the lesson I want to take from my memory of that morning with Grandpa: Being happy is important, but sometimes we have to weigh what that happiness brings against what the side effects or dangers will be.  Going to the beach for 5 hours can make you happy, but that sunburn is going to be horrible unless you take precautions.  Rock climbing can make you happy, but that fall will kill you, so you better make sure your equipment is right.  And of course, eating “good” like I always have makes me happy, but I have to fix a few things with my eating habits. 

Thanks for stopping by Story of My Life today.  I hope you enjoyed it and maybe got a little motivation from it.  Good day, God Bless.

Dave

A small sample of pictures from the last few weeks of my eating and cooking adventures.

My Offspring is Off-Springing

I know it’s been a while since I’ve been on here.  I’ve written a few things here and there but haven’t posted any of them.  I’ve come up with a plethora of ideas in my head of what I think would look good on Story of My Life, but haven’t taken the time to jot them down.  I’ve been lazy.  But I’ll get into that in a later post.  Today I have other news.

Late last year my son and his wife announced that they are expecting their first child.  The newest edition to our family will arrive in July.  Hey y’all, my offspring is off-springing!!  I am so very excited.  And it’s about time!  Most of my friends from high school have been grandparents for years now.  I’m 54 and becoming a first-time grandpa.  On a side note of sorts, my mother’s mother was 39 when I was born and made her a first-time grandparent.  When I was young, I thought my grandparents were old.  My grandchild will think I’m ancient!  LOL.  Or maybe I just feel ancient.

As I look forward to meeting my grandson in a few months I’m reminded of all the advice I received when I was becoming a dad.  And the very best advice I received during that time was from my dad, who I think was a very good and wise parent.  He said, “Take all the advice you get from everyone and throw it out the window.  Do what you know is right and everything will work out fine.  You got this.”

This was the perfect advice and I am passing it on to my son and his wife. This post is written to my son and his wife.  Don’t confuse this advice with not hearing what others have to say who have experience and might know a thing or two.  But instead, learn what is right as you go through parenthood.  Do what you feel is right, coupled with what you want to use from others.  None of us have all the answers about being a parent.  Only you will know in your heart what is right for your little family.  It will come to you, I promise.  It’s all a learning experience.  Take it all in and figure out what is best.  I interpret my dad’s advice to mean this: Don’t feel obligated by someone’s advice if you feel differently. 

That’s my advice.  Well, my dad’s advice.  And I did well with it.

But there’s plenty of other important things to share as well.  Consider this part more like storytelling and if you find something here you want to use as advice, take it.  Or, if you find something in the storytelling that didn’t work, you can learn from that as well.  I have often told my less flattering stories to my children in hopes they learn from my faults and save themselves some troubles.  But kids don’t listen.  You’ll learn that soon enough.  LOL!!

First of all, you will become a parent with very little experience.  Sure, you may have babysat, watched after siblings, volunteered in the nursery at church- but nothing will fully prepare you for having your own baby, a new life that completely depends on you.  The first time I ever changed a diaper was on my first child.  And I hadn’t studied how to do it and I had never done it before.  I was thrown into it.  The nurse said, “Dad, do you want to change her diaper?”  Turns out, it wasn’t that hard.  I figured it out on my first try! Too easy. But everything after that first diaper was a new, deeper challenge.  Changing a diaper was the very first step in a long road for me in learning how to be a parent.  Oh, the number of diapers I changed.  How can something so small and precious create a smell that could peel paint off the wall?  Get ready.

How do you know when to take the baby to the emergency room or wait it out?  How do you know when to let the baby “cry it out” when they are being fussy or when to coddle them?  How do you know when to start potty training?  How do you know when to let your child walk to school alone?  How do you know when to do this or that or whatever?  Here’s the catch.  You don’t know yet.  Sometimes you don’t know the right answer until you’ve already made a decision and see how it plays out.  You have to learn it all one first diaper at a time.  And you will make mistakes.  You will second-guess yourself sometimes.  But you will adjust as you learn.  And once you think you have something figured out, the baby changes it.  Which means that every once in a while you will go back and forth about something until you make a decision just to be done with it.  And that’s ok, too. Sometimes all you can do is flip a coin.  Just keep learning.  And to be honest, a lot of questions will answer themselves as the baby grows and you learn.  And after a while, you’ll have it all figured out.  But like I alluded to, the baby can sense that you figured it out and will change everything, creating new challenges.  It’s what they do.

Along with the excitement, fear, joy, and love that comes with becoming a parent, you will also get a dose of perpetual tiredness.  All my kids are now grown adults, taking on the world, and I’m still tired from when they were little.  This feeling of exhaustion…  just get used to it.  There will be late nights, early mornings, and everything in between.  You’ll have your hands full with the little one.  But you’ll still have to clean the house, take care of the dog, mow the yard, go grocery shopping, pay the bills, cook dinner… oh yeah, and don’t forget about going to work.  No matter how tired you feel, it is all worth it.  I have fond memories of falling asleep in a recliner with my children snuggled in my arms.  Best sleep ever!

Kids are very resilient growing up.  Yes, they are fragile, but you can’t keep them in a bubble.  They will get bumps, bruises, cuts, and scratches.  Of my six kids, we survived at least two broken bones, a golf club to the face, a tumble off of a piano with teeth puncturing the lip, a fall out of a tree, a pencil broken off into the heel of a foot, rolling off a bed on to hardwood flooring, slipping in the bathroom and bouncing a head off the tile which was bloody and gruesome.  This is a very small sample of what my kids survived and doesn’t even include the sports bumps and bruises they all had.  And even if I were to hover over each of my kids every minute of every day, very few of these injuries could have been avoided.  Kids are adventurous as they grow and learn, and sometimes those adventures will leave a mark. 

I believe my dad did a great job.  As I look back on my childhood, I don’t think I could have asked for a better father.  Even so, when I became a dad, I had a mental list of things I was going to do differently, things I didn’t like from when I was a kid.  However, as I “grew up” as a parent I realized my list of things my dad did well and did right was much longer than the list of things I wanted to change in my journey as a parent.  Maybe some of it was me understanding that parenting is a challenge, something we can not fully comprehend until we become a parent.  So, I hope your list eventually gets longer on the side of “Oh, dad was right, I get it now.”  There are plenty of things I could have done better.  If you want that list, let me know.  And that’s one of the funny things about learning as a first time parent, you can’t usually know how things will turn out until later.  But I’m very happy and proud of how my kids turned out, so maybe I did a few more things right than I thought I did.  Here’s the bottom line.  Do your parenting out of love and what’s best for the child.  And even then, not all of your decisions will be perfect.  And that’s perfectly fine. 

This new chapter of your life is going to be the best rollercoaster ride you could ever be on.  My Son, I loved watching you grow up as a child into a teen and then into an adult.  Now I get to watch you grow as a dad and I couldn’t be more proud.  And always keep this in mind, “Do what you know is right and everything will work out fine.  You got this.”  Y’all got this!

I love y’all.  The two of you will be great parents.  God bless!

Dad

Papillon

When I was a young boy, back in the late ‘70s, I would sometimes get to stay up late and watch television with my grandfather.  I was seven or eight years old, so staying up late for me might not have been as late as I’ve pictured it in my mind all these years.  The two-car garage had been converted to a den many years before.  It was large room with a couch, two recliners, an antique rocking chair, liquor cabinet, and a safe hidden in the wall above the two recliners.  The safe had a picture frame cover, but to my knowledge, never had a picture in it.  I have some wonderful memories from my childhood of that house, specifically that room. 

We watched many episodes of Baa Baa Black Sheep, sports, news, and sometimes he’d give up his rights to the television and we’d watch Wonderful World of Disney.  Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom was always a favorite.  But one movie we stayed up late to watch one night that has been stuck in my head for more than 40 years was Papillon.  Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman, 1973.  Maybe because it was supposedly based on a true story and, as a child, I found that fascinating.  A true story of a French prison and how the convicted survived and one eventually escaped to write about it.  For whatever reason, I loved that movie.  I don’t think I’ve seen it since I was eight or nine years old. 

Grandpa would sit in his recliner smoking a pipe or cigar.  I would be laid out on the couch, often times falling asleep during our TV time.  I remember grandma occasionally sitting in her recliner crocheting.  I don’t remember if she was interested in what we were watching, unless it was basketball.  She was a huge basketball fan.  She played in her younger years, I heard she was very good. 

The reason for this flood of childhood memories is that I recently found Papillon in the free On-demand section of my cable subscription.  Just seeing the title brought back details of my grandparent’s den.  The lighting, the smell of pipe tobacco, the texture of the carpet, the sliding glass door that lead to the driveway, the utility room where the washer and dryer sat, the rear door which exited to the back patio and wonderful back yard.  And of course, the shows we used to watch.  I wonder where the old rocking chair is.  I would have loved to have that. 

I made some pizza rolls and opened a beer.  Then I started the movie.  Some of what I remember from it 40+ years ago was exactly correct.  But that wasn’t very much.  I only remembered parts of a few of the scenes.  Watching it again brought a whole new appreciation for an absolutely spectacular movie.  McQueen and Hoffman were incredible.  They made their characters seem real, believable.  No special effects, no computer-generated imaging.  Just great actors perfecting their craft; something that has been lost in film today. 

In watching Papillon in present day, I am certain the movie was edited for television when I watched it with grandpa way back when. 

One of the scenes I remember visually, I had no recollection of the context because I couldn’t remember what was said.  It was a dream sequence where Papillon (McQueen) walks towards his judge.  The judge was flanked on each side by six men wearing black.  In their exchange, Papillon continues to claim he was framed for his accused crime of murder.  The judge admits that to be true, but adds that he is in fact guilty of a far worse crime, the worst crime any human can commit. Papillon asks what that could be.  The judge says, “I accuse you of a wasted life!”  Papillon agrees, hangs his head, then walks away.

I would have been too young to understand the context of that conversation at the time, perhaps that’s why I don’t remember it.  But now, nearing 50 years old, that spoke to me as I watched again.  I know I’ve wasted time.  I’ve wasted money.  I’ve wasted food, words, energy, and so much more if I am completely honest examining my past.  But one thing I am certain of, I can never be accused of a wasted life.  There are many things I should have done differently in my life.  There are things I regret, both things I did and things I didn’t do.  But as I look back and see where I am today, what I’ve survived, what I’ve overcome, I say confidently, that mine is not a wasted life. 

Only you can examine your life and decide if you wasted it.  Only you know exactly what you’ve been through and how you got to where you are currently.  Your mistakes do not define you.  At some point you move on from them and, if necessary, start over.  Some of my mistakes consumed me to the point of feeling like a failure, like a complete waste.  There were multiple occasions in my life I would have hung my head and walked away as Papillon did.  Not anymore. 

Life goes on.  And life is good.  And I’m not wasting it.  I hope you don’t either.  Thanks for stopping by today.  Good day, God bless.

Dave