A couple of years ago I declared May 16th as “Happy I Love You Day”. I was surprised to find an actual “I Love You” day by doing a Google search. Apparently, there is a National I Love You Day celebrated on October 14. I had never heard of it, but, according to the website, it’s not for romance like Valentine’s Day, but is designed to tell your friends and family that you love them. I don’t need October 14th for that. I tell my friends and family I love them all the time. This sounds like something the greeting card companies use to make money. But I digress.
This post isn’t exactly timely for May 16th or October 14th. I’m about 2 weeks late or 4 months early, depending on which one of these I Love You Days we want to celebrate. The idea for this post started percolating in my brain a few weeks ago, specifically on May 16th, since, like I said, I had already declared that day as “Happy I Love You Day.” Since I needed to put all these thoughts together for this story, I couldn’t compose and post it in a timely manner, and I certainly didn’t feel like this would be a good Memorial Day timeframe post. That is a time for remembrance of our fallen heroes. So, I’ll tell this story here and now, a few weeks late from the celebration date.
If you read my last post, The Condo, you know that my time there was a turning point in my life in a good way. And probably the highlight of my time living in that condo came in January 2020. I went on a date with a lady I met on a dating app. If you have ever used a dating site or app, you may know that you should not expect much from the people you meet most of the time. At least that was my experience. And honestly, I had reached that point after a number of disappointing encounters using a dating app. I had zero expectations based on previous dates. But I showed up for this date anyway.
We had been chatting for two or three months before we met in person, so I did feel cautiously optimistic about meeting her, in that she wouldn’t be a psycho, crazy person. If you don’t know, I’ll tell you. Some of the people you meet on these apps are absolutely nuts. You never know what you might be getting into. One quick example: A lady I met on a dating app and went on a few dates with ended up getting arrested for trafficking drugs. Not simple possession, not trying to buy something. She had enough of whatever product it was on her that a charge of trafficking was warranted. I never saw that coming and never suspected anything of the sort. And don’t call me for bail money. You must be out of your mind. That almost cured me of ever having another date from a dating app.
But… one more try in January 2020. And it turned out to be worth it. I started dating this very nice lady. We clicked well, had good conversations, enjoyed each other’s company. She was kind, pretty, and had a good job. This was good, very good. Almost too good, right? Back then I had a tendency of over thinking and over analyzing things. After about four months my brain got the best of me. I was really falling for this lady and that scared me. I honestly didn’t feel that I deserved this level of happiness and that, somehow, some way, I would end up messing it up on a grand scale. To avoid that, I told her we needed to slow down, that I didn’t want to get too serious. I figured that I would mess it up now rather than later. That makes sense, right? What a moron!!
For the next two or three weeks I was miserable. I went to work. I came home. I didn’t go out, I didn’t socialize. I didn’t do anything. It was too late. By the time I told her we should slow down, I had already fallen in love. I had two options. I could continue to be miserable or I could swallow my pride and ask her to spend some time together. I called, and to my surprise she agreed to get together. That day happened to be on May 16, when she met me at the condo before we were to go out. As soon as she walked through the door, I took her in my arms, held her close and told her how much I missed her. After that I told her that I loved her, that I had become scared, that I was an idiot, that I needed her in my life. I admitted that I never wanted to get married again, but that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Turns out, that worked for her.
Thus began a solid relationship. Later that year, I bought a house for us and her two teenage kids to live in. (On a side note, if you read The Condo, you know that at one point I couldn’t afford basic necessities. So being able to buy a house just a few years later was not something I ever thought would happen). The transition was rocky, but she and I were committed to making it work. She had basically been single for over a decade and I was still trying to convince myself that I was allowed to be happy. The combination of those two mindsets took a lot of work on both our parts.
Fast forward to May 2021. By then I had already decided to ask her to marry me even though I had previously never wanted to marry again. I had the ring. I asked her teenage children for permission to propose, and they agreed to keep it secret. I had it in my head how I was going to ask. And I was confident. But I had to wait. Well, I felt it right that I should wait. My oldest daughter was getting married in May and I in no way wanted to take anything away from that. I didn’t want any attention of any kind that would even slightly over-shadow their special day.
After we returned home from my daughter’s wedding, I was ready to pop the question. And I did. And coincidently, it happened to be on May 16th. I had no idea that the 16th was significant in any way. I’m a guy. I don’t always know the exact date or anniversary of something like telling someone I love them for the first time. But she did. Girls know everything like that! It was completely by accident and chance that I proposed on the same day, one year later, that I had told her that I loved her. I didn’t know the exact date. I only knew that it was sometime around a year prior. But ladies keep up with this kind of stuff, they know everything. She thought I planned it that way, but honestly, I was clueless to the fact that “I love you” and “will you marry me?” was exactly a year apart. Pure chance was far better than any planning I could have done.
And even though every day with my wife is an I Love You Day, this is why I call May 16th “Happy I Love You Day.” Every year for past few years, and every year to come, May 16th will be “Happy I Love You Day” for us. It is just as important as our wedding anniversary and our first date anniversary. Although, to be honest, she has to remind me every year what day our first date was on back in January 2020. Hey, I’m a guy, I can only remember so much for anniversaries, right? I do know that this coming October we’ll be celebrating 4 years of marriage. She doesn’t have to remind me of that one, I already put it in my phone calendar. Haha!!
Whatever day you celebrate an I Love You Day, enjoy. Make a big deal about it. Declare it a holiday, even if it’s only for you and your significant other. Pick a day that has some importance to you both or decide to pick a random day. We need more I Love You Days in our lives, besides the usual wedding anniversaries and birthdays and the like. Find more reasons to celebrate your love for someone. Don’t be constrained by what is usual and normal and scripted. I challenge you to do more.
Thanks for stopping by. Good day, God bless, and I love you.
Dave
Story of My Life 