The Cage With Prison Bars

I’ve met them all and put them in their respective places. I know each of them by name. We’ve come to agreements that, quite frankly, don’t benefit anyone involved, but there had to be agreements, whether they mean anything or not. I can’t make them leave, they are part of me and who I am now. I can get along with every one of them very nicely. Except one, except the one that wants to kill me. I keep him locked in a cage with prison bars. They are all my demons and I have them under control.

I entertain them occasionally, just to make sure they know I’m in charge, if I am in charge. Except the one that wants me dead. I won’t let that one out of the cage. But all the others come around once in a while, and if I feel like it I will pet them and send them on their way. They are free to roam because they have learned the rules and boundaries. Except Suicide. That one stays locked up. Behind prison bars. That one cannot be tamed like the others. That one does not play by the rules. That one scares me, even from behind the bars.

When all my demons ran wild and controlled me, it was chaos. I locked myself in that cage with prison bars to stay safe. But that didn’t work. They poked and jabbed through the bars. They laughed and made fun of me and threw things at me. And Suicide was the worst of them. That one won’t stop until you do. And I believed them for a while, every word. And they were right, they convinced me anyway. Except that they were wrong, I learned that later, after it was almost too late. It was hard, but I put them in their places, even the one that tried to murder me. Especially the one that tried to murder me. That bastard is behind bars now. But that one still scares me. That’s the only one I’m truly afraid of.

I look over my shoulder occasionally from time to time to make sure my demons are staying in their places, where they belong. They are for the most part, even the killer that is locked in a cage with prison bars. When I look over my shoulder at that one, it smiles calmly, not bothered at all about being locked up. That one knows that even from the cage it can get me if it wanted to, if I let it. I have all my demons under control except that one, which is befuddling to me since that’s the only one locked up. In a cage. With prison bars. No freedom to roam. Suicide stays quiet in the cage making plans for a reunion. I have no intention of showing up to that party.

But if you have demons of your own, maybe we can get them together for a play date party.

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13 thoughts on “The Cage With Prison Bars

  1. You said it was going to be twisted, but I enjoyed this a lot. Very creative and a little dark but interesting. You should explore this one more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said, well done. I liked this piece a lot. I can relate to what you describe here. Please keep very far away from that cage. And yes, suicide must be kept locked up, and with chains too. I use Bible verses to keep it locked and chained–it works for me and help to keep me thinking about positive things in the worst of times. What do you do to keep it locked up?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I pressed “like” but thought better of it. I do LIKE what you have written. It’s a great piece. Very well written. It takes courage to write like that about things like that.

    I just don’t like the reality of it all. But I see your courage, and your honesty, and that tells me you will WIN this battle.

    There’s nothing like transparency, especially when it’s shared, because it means you are on your way to victory. At least, that’s been my own experience and it gives me hope for others.

    They say that a problem shared is a problem halved. I think a battle shared is one on the way to resolution. It’s a healthy thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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