Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Wedding

My middle son got married last weekend, the first of six.  I should probably clarify.  LOL.  He’s the first of six siblings to get married, not the first of him getting married six times.  That would be bad.  My ex-wife and I had a daughter, then 3 boys in a row, then twin girls.  They’re all adults now, for the most part.  The twins will officially be adults next year upon graduating high school.  They are all wonderful, beautiful human beings.  But this is Nick’s time to shine, so let me brag on my boy and his new bride.

He’s smart.  He’s funny.  He has an entrepreneurial spirit and a heart of gold.  He’s one of the most loving and genuine people you would ever meet.  He’s a problem-solver with a calming demeaner.  Trustworthy, honest, kind, dependable.  He’s everything and more that I could have ever hoped for him at this point in his life.  I really can’t put into words how proud I am of my boy.

He married his high school sweetheart.  She is positively an awesome individual with a beautiful smile.  She’s the loud one, you can hear her laugh coming a mile away and it makes you want to smile.  She doesn’t know a stranger, as far as I’ve seen, and will befriend anyone she meets.  She’s very excitable and will go in a million different directions during a single conversation.  To say the least, she is very entertaining.  They are a perfect match.  They balance each other out nicely.  I love them both dearly.

To be completely honest, in the months leading up to the blessed nuptials, I asked them numerous times if they really thought they were ready.  Partly because I’m the dad and want to make sure and partly because I’m older and wiser and had my doubts.  I asked because I love and care for them.  It’s not that I doubted their love for each other, there is no question there at all.  It’s just the world we live in.  It’s hard and unforgiving.  And they are young, not financially secure in any sense of the concept, and don’t have the jobs that will provide for a spectacular future.  That sounds vaguely familiar.  Oh, that’s how my ex and I started out and we were married for 26 years and did very well for the most part providing for 6 kids.  I think that’s how most young couples start out; young, dumb, naïve, indestructible, and completely unaware of what the world has in store for them. But they assured me they were ready.

It was a nice ceremony.  Short, sweet, and to the point.  There was a little humor and a lot of love.  I was impressed with the vows they each wrote.  Very touching.  There was a best man and a maid of honor, that’s all.  Nothing flashy or extravagant.  No tuxedos, no flower girls, no live music.  The reception was “catered” by local fast food restaurants.  The whole event was low-key and easy.  I like it.  I think it shows that these two youngsters are just fine with not having a fancy lifestyle right away and can stay in a budget.  It’s exactly how they wanted it and I think it was awesome.

To my son and new daughter, I love you.  I’m proud of you.  Great things lie ahead for you both.  Not that I ever give the best advice, but let me leave you with some wisdom, learned from experience.  Stay focused.  Stay faithful.  Be honest.  Be giving.  Be forgiving.  Be understanding.  Be clear.  Spend wisely.  Save what you can.  Invest for your future.  Not just monetarily, but invest in each other and in life.  Be humble.  Be charitable.  Stay close to God.  Take things in stride.  Nothing is ever the end of the world and if something is too good to be true, it probably is.  So, be smart, the world is already planning on how to take advantage of you.  Most importantly, as I’ve said to you many times, be a decent human being, clean up after yourself, and make good decisions. 

I love you both. 

Dad

The Brick

I bought a house.  Way ahead of schedule for what my original plans were.  I thought it would be at least a couple more years before I was in a position to buy, but sometimes things work out.  It’s a great house, built in 1972, and had only one owner until I bought it last month.  The gentleman that bought the house almost 50 years ago passed away in January.  It does need a few minor things taken care of, but it got a brand-new roof and a complete electrical re-wire before closing.  The seller was extremely accommodating in selling the house she grew up in.

The move was a huge pain, not fun.  The closing had to be moved back a week, so I was worried about getting out of the condo I was renting by the time I said I would.  On top of that, Hurricane Sally was approaching the Gulf Coast.  And to make matters more stressful for me, I was the on-call guy at work for the week that my closing got pushed to.  We got our stuff moved in just before the weather deteriorated, all while working in between moving loads of stuff from one place to another.  And then the storm hit.  I worked a total of 17 days in a row.  I haven’t even come close to getting settle in yet at my new home.  But, I’m here, and I’m happy.  Things will fall into place as they will.  No hurry.

During my move I found many memories while packing.  It’s amazing to find stuff you haven’t seen in years and relive old times while going through closets and boxes.  One thing I found was a brick.  Just a simple, red brick.  It has no monetary value.  It’s not pretty or decorative.  But it might be the last one left of the bricks that were part of my grandparents’ house which was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina in 2005.  They had already sold that house at the end of Beach Bayou Rd in Biloxi, Mississippi years before, but my childhood memories of it still remained.

Grandma had all the Tupperware you would expect in a house during that era.  She had a tan sugar dish with a lid that opened on both sides.  Open one side and it pours out from a small hole; the other side was big enough to put a spoon in.  Of course, she had the orange pitcher with the push down lid.  Is Tupperware even a thing anymore?  Grandpa had a music room where he composed.  I don’t know if he did his paintings in there as well, or just his music.  I have all his music somewhere in a box that hasn’t been unpacked yet.  I always loved his music.  I have a number of his paintings as well, at least one of which is already hanging here at my new house. 

From when I was a child visiting my grandparents’ house, I can remember looking at the stars with my uncle out in the yard and him taking me on the water in his blue fiberglass boat; only time I’ve caught a shark.  I remember my aunt and cousins living in the next house up the road.  We had way too much fun as kids jumping ditches up and down the street.  Grandma would always fuss at us for that because of the snakes in the ditches.  We never got bit.  I remember the times my sister and I would spend the night at the red brick house on the bayou.  So many wonderful memories.  And all that’s left from that house is a brick. 

In 1969, Hurricane Camille devastated the Mississippi Coastal area.  At that time, it was one of the most intense hurricanes to make U.S. landfall.  It was a Category 5 storm. Camille brought 7 ½ feet of water into my grandparents’ home.  When the water receded and the sun came out, they cleaned and rebuilt.  As far as fixing the damage to their home, they left only the watermark in the detached laundry room as a reminder of how high the water had come.  Basically, their house was underwater except for the roof.  In 2005, when I finally got through on the phone to my grandparents after Katrina, I asked how it compared to Camille.  My grandfather told me Katrina made Camille look like an afternoon thunder storm. 

My first opportunity to go to Biloxi after Katrina was in early in 2007, for my grandfather’s funeral.  While there, I took my oldest boy and explored the area, giving him a glimpse into an early childhood chapter of my life.  We went by the old house on Beach Bayou Rd.  As we drove down to where the road disappears into the bayou, I couldn’t see the house.  It was gone.  Only the foundation and a few bricks that still made a small corner of the house remained.  I wanted to cry.  It was all gone.  Only the memories remain. 

I took a brick that day.  I still have it.  It just sits on a window sill in my bedroom at my new home.  It’s place at the condo I moved from was on the window sill in my bedroom there.  Before that, it was on the very top of a small wall unit in my now ex-wife’s house.  There’s no elaborate display for it.  No fancy case.  No markings as to where it came from or how it got here.  It’s just a brick.  But it’s all that’s left from some of my most cherished childhood memories.  It mostly stays of sight, I barely notice it’s there.  Most days I don’t even think about it. 

Maybe our memories are like that brick.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Then once in a while we notice.  Something prompts us to take a walk down memory lane.  Hopefully good memories, but it can go both ways.  I hope your memories are like my brick, mostly good.  Thanks for enjoying my memories with me today.  Good day, God bless.

Dave

Middle School Kids

I had something else lined up for this week’s post, but I really need to get this off my chest. As we all know, the world we live in is a crazy place. And judging by some of the youth aged kids I see out in my part of the world, it doesn’t always look like it’s going to get any better.

On my way from picking up kids at the middle school, I see a kid walking down the street in the lane I was driving in. He wasn’t crossing the street; he was purposely walking down the road with his back to traffic behind him. After he finally moved, I honked my horn as I passed him. Then he yelled, “Don’t fucking honk your horn at me!” Are you kidding me? This is a middle school student, maybe 7th or 8th grade. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was he really that bold to walk down the road in traffic, then yell at me not to honk at him? I decided to pull over and figured I’d talk to him about it and see if his tone changed.

As I approached him, I was amused by the fear in his eyes. Good. Maybe he’ll think twice about being an ass next time. I asked him his name. Instead he countered with, “I was just trying to cross the street.” I said, no, and asked his name again. He hesitated. I then told him he could tell me his name or I could get officer Rojas involved (resource officer at the middle school, and wonderful deputy to have in that position). He then said, “Logan.” I asked his last name, he said, “Michaels.” So, if any of you know Logan Michaels’ parents, send this week’s post to them.

Parenting is hard. Not really, but it is time consuming, tiring, worrisome, scary, expensive, and also rewarding. And I know my kids are far from perfect and I know I have never been the perfect dad. But I do know this: My children, when out in the world, know how to act like civilized human beings. They know respect. They know right from wrong. What happened to society from when I was a kid to now? I got in my share of trouble and did more stupid things than I can remember, but when called out by an adult, I was respectful.

I grew up in a different time. I was probably in the 4th grade while spending the night at a friend’s house. He and I got in trouble, I don’t remember what it was, but it was enough for his dad to spank both of us. Not bad, just a couple swats on the butt and then on with the evening. I didn’t dare tell my dad, because I knew I did wrong and didn’t want another spanking when I got home. How is that adults cannot correct other people’s children now? How is that some of the children people are raising are such bad human beings?

I see kids leaving the middle school every day on my way to pick up mine. So many of them don’t even stop at the crosswalk, just keep on moving because it seems to be their right. And, yes, Florida does have a law giving pedestrians the right of way in crosswalks. I think a close look at it would indicate that they have to be in the crosswalk first. Stop walking out in front of cars that are already moving! I watch one imbecile kid walk crossways from one corner to the opposite one, avoiding all crosswalks, going straight out into traffic. Granted, that kid will likely cleanse himself from the gene pool at some point, but at what cost? Will he take someone with him? Or will he cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars to feed and house in prison somewhere?

This is not a school issue, it’s a parenting issue. I expect the school system to teach. They can expect me to parent. It’s a partnership that I am happy to be in. Maybe the school could put more effort to instill certain basic courtesies to the kids, since they are also a reflection of the school itself. But it’s not their job, it’s ours. The school system is NOT responsible for raising our children. There are kids being raised that are turning out like ass holes. And one day the parents are going to ask how that happened. It starts with right now. Do your damn job.

Not long ago I saw a post on Facebook where a friend of mine posted that she was at Wendy’s down the road from the middle school, after school was out. A group of the students had gone there after school. My friend wrote that she was appalled by the behavior of those students. They were rowdy, unruly, disrespectful, and didn’t care. And there’s no doubt what school they were from because of the uniform policy. It’s not just Logan Michaels that needs a swift kick in the pants, it’s quite a few of them. And society will give it to them one day since the parents obviously won’t.

I have chaperoned a few events at the middle school and I can say that by far, most of the children there are decent, good kids. It’s the handful of twerps that give all the rest of them a bad name. Just like all groups of people, there are a few rotten apples that mold the perception of the whole group. My children have been very active in sports and clubs. I can say most of the parents I know from these activities are wonderful people. The teachers, staff, and faculty that I have dealt with over the last decade at that school are top notch, the best. With the exception of the boys’ soccer coach, they are all a class act and care about doing a good job for the students.

Dear parents, stop raising ass holes and start raising respectful children. It’s not the school’s job, it’s yours. Good day, God bless.

Dave

2015 Suicide statistics. Why is the government failing?

Good article.

Amanda Strah Gilliam

DoD_Quarterly_Suicide_Report_CY2015_Q4

Military suicide and ptsd related deaths in the past few years has risen to all time highs. As budget cuts amongst each branch of the military and zero tolerance policy for even the slightest mistake, service members now more than ever need help. The VA is taking advantage of this horrifying statistic. Most service members who are getting dismissed from the military with bad paperwork (a less than honorable discharge) are getting denied basic VA benefits they are entitled to. According to the Servicemen’s Readjustment Act of 1944, Congress deemed that other-than-honorable discharges can only bar a veteran from basic VA services if the individual’s misconduct led to a dishonorable discharge in a court-martial due to serious crimes. Misconduct that the military would have reprimanded, but not deemed necessary, to give a veteran the boot are now experiencing this deplorable fate.

In 2013, according to a press release by Bradford…

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Reflections of 2013, A Great Year

As I reflect on 2013, a lot of things come to mind. This year has been fun, exciting, unique, challenging, and seems to have gone by faster than past years. Time is speeding up. Even with each day lately seeming like it lasts forever, this year is gone, to me, in a flash. So much has happened this year it’s hard to believe it all fit inside of twelve months. There were a few ‘firsts’ in 2013. Maybe a couple of ‘lasts’ as well. We’ll see. But in any event, this was one hell of a year. I would count it as one of my better years and there isn’t much at all I’d change.

In 2013 I started my blog. It’s not that great, but a few of the stories were pretty cool and got some great feedback. I didn’t keep up with it as much as I had planned when I started it, but it’s still there, like now, getting an update once in a while. Perhaps in 2014 I’ll update it more often.

I got my first tattoo in 2013. It wasn’t planned and I’m sure it’s my last. I like it, but since I can check that off my list of crazy things I’ve done, there’s no need to get another one. Maybe. We’ll see. It happened on a date night with my wife that started out at T.G.I. Friday’s. From there, we were going to shoot some pool, but that place was closed. We walked to another bar that wasn’t my wife’s style, so left there and ended up in a tattoo parlor. I’m still not sure how it all happened.

All of my kids did some spectacular things in 2013. I will highlight two things, one by each of my ‘big kids.’ My oldest son was accepted to Collegiate High School, so instead of going to traditional high school his junior and senior years, he will go to the local college and graduate with a high school diploma and an Associate’s Degree at the same time. That’s pretty amazing to me. My oldest daughter graduated from high school. What makes this so incredible is that she did it in between her freshman and sophomore years at college. She skipped her senior year at high school, went off to college, did what she needed to do, came back and walked with her class. Awesome.

I spent a lot of time traveling in 2013. Mostly back and forth from Ft Walton Beach to Orlando, two trips to Texas, then off to Afghanistan where I’ve been traveling all over for the last four and a half months. I could write for days about all the places I’ve been, the things I’ve seen, and people I’ve met since getting to Afghanistan. I’ve got stories of helicopter flights, riding on a British C-130, IDF’s at Bagram, rocket attacks at Kandahar, buildings shaking harder as each ‘boom’ gets closer. I’ve got stories of seeing people in Afghanistan that I’ve served with before that I just happen to run into here, stories of friendships and bonds with people who mean the world to me, but would have never met otherwise if not being here.

I ran my first marathon in 2013, the Marine Corps Marathon. I wrote some new poetry. I read more books than I normally would. I quit smoking cigarettes. I got promoted. I added two new countries to the list of places I’ve been to. I had lunch at the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, which was pretty cool. There are so many things that make 2013 one of the best years ever: adventures, excitement, new friendships, new places, and once in a life time opportunities.

But my best reflections of 2013 are of my family. While I’m off being a tourist at war, my wife is home taking care of the house, the kids, the bills, the dog, the lawn, the things that break, the things that need to be replaced, and everything else. Without her love and support I would never to be able to do the things I do and have the experiences I have. Like those of us serving in Afghanistan, my wife doesn’t get a day off back home. I have always said, and will say again, she has the harder job when I’m deployed- I get to shoot if necessary. For all my adventures and experiences, as fun as they are, I can’t wait to get back home to Diana the kids. My thoughts are with them and my heart is with them. And before long, I’ll be back with them.

To everyone that was part of my life in 2013, thank you. Especially to my wife and kids, you have made me what I am and who I am. Looking forward to wonderful 2014. Happy New Year to you all!!!

Good day and God bless.

Dave