Happy Anniversary

It was 21 years ago when Diana walked down the aisle toward me. It was an outside wedding at Eden Garden’s State Park, a little warm, and it had threatened rain. There was a brief shower, but it held off for the ceremony. I looked like a dork in tails, and we still debate whose idea it was for me to wear that style of tuxedo. But she looked stunning, absolutely beautiful. And she’s done nothing but become more beautiful to me over the years. I found out later that as her dad walked her down the aisle that he told her it wasn’t too late to change her mind. I’m glad she didn’t, and I don’t blame her dad one bit. I’ve told this before and the usual response would be, “Wow, you and your father-in-law didn’t get along.” But we did. He was a very wise man, someone I looked up to. And even though he’s gone, I would still like to be like the man he was. I have daughters and I’m sure I’ll be telling them the same thing going down the aisle one day.

I look back over the last 21 years and see how much I’ve learned, how much we’ve grown, and I am so amazed at so many things. First, I’m amazed that she’s put up with me for this long. I don’t even want to live with myself sometimes and she does it on purpose! I’m amazed at our six beautiful, talented, smart children. Without them it would just me and her. How much fun would that be? Well, ok, it would be fun, but the kids certainly make it better. And I’m amazed that she still thinks I’m funny even though I’ve been telling the same jokes for over 20 years. She loves me enough to laugh at them anyway. Or maybe she’s just laughing at me. Either way, I like to think I still make her smile.

One thing I’ve learned is that marriage is not 50/50. Each person has to give 100%. And while there have been times over the years that one or both us didn’t give the full 100%, we complemented each other well enough to make up the difference until we got back on track. The overall work load of being married might not balance out all the time, but what ever your job is in the marriage, give 100% to it. That’s what we try to do. And we’ve done a good job making sure we work to our strengths.

For example, she likes working in the yard. I’d rather work in the kitchen. As a matter of fact, when we got married I’m not sure she knew what a kitchen was. She would call me at work when she couldn’t get the smoke detector to turn off when she attempted to cook canned biscuits. She’s come a long way since then. Also, she knows how to do minor plumbing, while I’m not allowed to play with power tools anymore after that one incident. And I’m not allowed to work on the cars. I haven’t been banned from doing electrical work yet, but I’m sure that’s just a matter of time. And I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to install a washing machine after I flooded part of the house. And then again after I thought I fixed it. Oops. We each have our strengths and have done very well in letting each other use them.

We have gone through more trials than any couple should have to. But we’ve been blessed far beyond what we deserve. We’ve been at rock bottom and on top of the world a number of times over the years. I submit that the good times far outweigh the bad times. We aren’t perfect and don’t have a perfect marriage, but we’re perfect for each other.

Diana, I love you. You mean the world to me. It’s because of you that I do what I do. It’s because of you that I’m the man I am. You’ve told me before that one quality that you love about me is how hard I work to support the family. I do that because I love you. And one quality I love about you is that you keep our family together, moving in the right direction. Together, we are one and get it done. I love you.

Good day and God bless.

Dave

9/11 in Kabul, Afghanistan

Twelve years ago today America changed. We weren’t looking to change, we didn’t necessarily want to change, but it’s a change we were forced to go through. We will never be the same again. I’ve followed all the posts today on Facebook in my news feed about all the remembrances, the pictures, the support for both the victims of the attack and the Service Members still fighting a war that’s supposed to be winding down.

As 9/11 approached, we double checked ourselves, made sure everything was good, and stayed vigilant. No worries. We’ve been doing this for a long time. But I think what happened today caught everyone off guard. No one saw this coming.

As I came out the door of the building to throw a box in the dumpster I could hear the commotion on the streets outside the walls of our compound. It was after dark. I could hear people yelling, horns blowing, and noises that sounded an awful lot like gunfire. I could see flashes of light in the air. I noticed that everyone outside was calm. Looking to the sky, but calm. Why wasn’t anyone taking cover? We are in a war zone after all and I realized for sure that is gunfire I hear. After my trip to the dumpster, I walked to the gazebos where the daily gossip and b.s. stories could be heard for the day. That’s where I found out what was happening.

The Afghanistan soccer team beat India to win its first ever international trophy in soccer. The people were celebrating. Since I don’t follow soccer, I’m not sure, but I think this puts them in the competition for the World Cup. The Afghans have something to cheer about. And they were cheering. Fireworks and real gunfire. Hollering in the streets, horns honking. I could only picture it from where I was. I sat at the gazebos for about an hour listening to the people on the other side of the walls. I watch tracers fly over the camp and could hear the rat-a-tat-tat of the machine guns. Don’t these guys know those rounds have to come down somewhere? I saw one of the Afghanistan interpreters sitting out there. She was smiling, taking it all in. I could see the APPF (Afghan People’s Protection Force) guards at the gate. They were happy, shaking hands with some of the Afghan workers from our compound that walked by on their way to their quarters for the night.

Afghanistan is a nation that has been torn apart for the better part of 34 years by war and government unrest, Soviet occupation, Taliban choke hold, corrupt politics, and more. And for many years before that this country has dealt with tribal and ethnic divisions as well as religious unrest. The Afghanistan soccer team has brought some unity and happiness to this otherwise dismal place to be. The people here have a reason to stick their chest out, something to be proud of. I am truly happy for them. I hope they win again. Maybe with less gunfire next time, though.

I heard a sports announcer say one time, “Winning changes everything.” I don’t believe that to be true in the broad perspective of life. Tomorrow will be the same as yesterday, only today was different. But I do know that here, for today, winning a soccer game meant the world to a nation. And I’m glad I was here for it.

Good day and God bless.

Dave

The Ceremony

Sometimes I wonder how I got to where I am. Not how did I get to Afghanistan, but how I got to be where I am, doing the things I’m doing, working with the people I’m working with, seeing the world in a way that so few get to see it. Some might think it’s weird for me consider myself lucky to be here, in a war zone, away from many of the comforts of home, away from my family. I do count myself lucky to be able to serve, even here. We do have some of the comforts of home, though not near as comfortable as being home. And while I miss my family back home dearly, these that I serve with are my family here. Putting it all into this perspective, I like this life’s adventure I’m on.

One of the things I have experienced recently is the memorial ceremony at ISAF (International Security Assistance Force) held each week in front of the headquarters building there. I mentioned this in a Facebook post a short while back, but I’ll go into greater detail here. I should note that my chaplain did the most recent ceremony and will do a few more as a fill in to the usual chaplain. The ceremony is only about 10-15 minutes, held outside. The back drop to the podium where the chaplain speaks is the Afghan flag, the NATO flag, then the flags of the Coalition Forces that suffered a loss. The chaplain starts the ceremony, then a senior military leader from each of the Coalition Forces reads the names of fallen from their respective country, an Afghan National Army leader says a prayer for his fallen and states how many (too many names to read at the ceremony), the bagpipes play, and chaplain concludes the ceremony.

It’s fascinating to me to be standing there with so many other Service Members from all over the world paying respects to the fallen. Up close to the center of the ceremony there are a couple of foriegn units in formation, but for the most part, we just find a place to stand in the background and watch. We all come to attention when called. We listen to the prayers and words of comfort. Then, seemingly as quick as the ceremony started, we all go our separate ways, back to what ever it is we are assigned to do.

The United States was the only Coalition flag up at the most recent ceremony. Five American Service Member’s names were read. The first time I attended the ceremony it struck me how quick it was. I remember thinking to myself, “How can we pay proper respect to the fallen so quick?” Not just for the U.S forces, but for who ever gives their life in such a manner. As I pondered this in the week in between ceremonies I came to a conclusion.

We stop here only long enough to recognize the fallen. We have a job to do. While our hearts are heavy and we feel a loss, we have to move on and complete the mission we’ve been given. If we stop too long we get distracted. We don’t have time to memorialize, grieve, morn, or reflect. At least not all at once, not here. It has to become a background thought. It can’t be foremost in our minds lest we lose track of what we need to do to get the rest of us home safely.

Even though I didn’t personally know any of the names called at either one of the ceremonies I’ve been to so far, I still feel a connection and a loss. Maybe it’s the kind of connection that only exists for those that wear or have worn the uniform, I don’t know. But it’s a sobering reminder of where I am in the world today and what’s going on around me. Each time I go outside the wire I take it all in. I look at the people on the streets, the shops, the traffic, the advertisements. As I file it all into my memory of life experiences, I make sure to find a place in there for the ceremonies so I don’t forget we are still at war. Sometimes it’s easy to not think about it from the inside of the walls, and forget what’s going on the outside.

Take the time remember the fallen and their families. Pray for them. Pray for us. Pray for our families back home doing all the hard work of keeping homes running. We will continue to do what we do until our job is complete.

Good day and God bless.

Dave

Three Weeks In

It’s been almost three weeks since arriving in Afghanistan. It’s been very interesting so far. We are over a mile above sea level in Kabul, with mountains all around. The air here is thick with pollutants, making the view of the taller, distant mountains sometimes impossible. The temperatures are not too bad, highs in the low 90’s, lows in the mid 60’s. I know that will change as winter approaches, I’ve been told to expect to see snow.

I know it’s early in the deployment, but it’s hard to not compare being here to my previous deployment to Iraq. Obviously, while I make comparisons between the two in the blog, I’ll be leaving out quite a bit of what it’s like here. Shhhh! It’s a secret.

First of all, when I went to Iraq, the Religious Support Team we were replacing met us at the helicopter pad and was happy to see us. They couldn’t wait for us to get there so they could go home. Quite the opposite a few weeks ago. Someone neglected to tell anyone here that we were coming. Probably because we weren’t replacing anybody. But, none the less, we showed up, without a job and without a place to do that job. We have since integrated ourselves into the overall mission, found things to do, and as it turns out, have some busy times and lots of travel ahead of us. But in the beginning, it was a fight to stay in the fight. We’re still fighting for a desk, but at least we have a job.

Secondly, when I was in Iraq I only got to go on one mission outside the wire. I had a good deployment, worked hard, and was successful in what I did, but it was boring. I’m very proud of he job I did, but I longed to see the outside world where I was at. But that wasn’t in my job description at the time. So far here, I’ve left the compound a number of times already. I got to experience traffic here. I got to see people walking up and down the streets. I could see their shops, their supermarkets, the business of life in this capital city. My only interaction with any of the local population are the ones that work on the compound. They seem happy to have jobs, even if it is picking up trash, cleaning the restrooms, or working in the kitchen.

I’ll close with one thing that is the same from then to now. We will do our job, whatever is asked of us. We will complete the mission, no matter how hard it is. We will be successful, no matter what happens after we leave. We will be proud that we did our part when we were called upon.

Good day and God bless.

Dave

A Day and a Half in Kyrgystan

As we left Fort Hood we knew it would be a long day. It ended up being a long two days of travel. From Fort Hood we flew to North Carolina, then on to Maine before going on the long flight across the Atlantic. We stopped in Germany to refuel and then off to Manas in Kyrgyzstan where we had, for the most part, a day and a half of down time before leaving for Afghanistan.

Manas is a good transient base. It has most of the things someone would want for a day or two layover. After lunch the first day there, I was walking with a couple of my fellow soldiers and looking around at what the base had to offer. The three of us stopped in the chapel to check it out. While there, one of them said we should pray, specifically about the A/C not working in their tent. For just a split second I thought to myself, “We’re on way to war and you want to pray about the A/C?” But that’s what was important at that moment, so I led us in prayer. I added parts about keeping us safe on the mission and stuff like that.

But this reminded me of when I went to India in 2005 on a mission trip with three other guys from church. Leading up to that trip I prayed about some things. Of course I mentioned safe travels, that we’d be well received when we got there, and that the trip would be successful not only to us, but in God’s eyes. But most of what I remember praying for was that the airline wouldn’t lose my luggage on the way there and that there would be food to my liking for the 10 days we would be out of the United States. I would need clean underwear, right? And I’m a picky eater. These two requests were important to me.

We traveled around, visiting and speaking at churches in little villages. At each church, at the end of the sermon it was their custom for the visiting missionaries to pray over each person that wanted it. They formed four lines, one for each of us, and one by one made their requests through a translator. Most everyone asked for food, money, or someone in their family to be healed. The areas we visited were some of the poorest people I’ve ever seen, many of them sick from malnutrition and various other ailments from a lack of medical services.

But this one girl blew me away with her request. She must have been somewhere between twelve and fourteen years old, wearing a purple dress. She had a confident smile and beautiful eyes. As she walked up I could tell she had a joy about her. To me, these people, being as poor and sick as they are, have every right to ask God for food and health, and even some money to get by on. She didn’t ask for us to pray for her family’s health, or money to buy food with. She asked us to pray on her behalf to receive wisdom to understand God’s word better.

That was a turning point for me on that trip. I felt ashamed that I had asked for things so petty and missed the big picture. It was ok to have asked for the airline to not lose my luggage and to have food that I liked. But that had been my focus. While I was doing work to make the lives of others better, I was still focused on me and not on the work to be done. I learned a great lesson on that trip. And from a young lady no less. Turns out, at least in my opinion, the one asking for wisdom was more wise than one being asked to pray for it for her.

Check this out. My luggage made it to India just fine. The food was wonderful. But on the way home, as I flew from Chennai to London, then back to the states, my bag went to France. I truly believe God has a sense of humor. It was three days later that my bag showed up. And in that, He was telling me it was ok to have prayed for something as trivial as my luggage, but don’t miss out on seeing the whole picture. I have to remind myself of that from time to time, that’s why I share this story.

Pray for us as we begin our mission in Afghanistan. Good day and God bless.

Dave