Tag Archives: dogs

Hello Again

Until earlier this month I hadn’t posted to Story of My Life in over 4 years.  I’ve been lazy with it.  But we’ll get to that shortly.  First, I want to look at how this all started and what it has become so far, and then move forward and explore where it can go from here.  It’s been a while, I might need a refresher. 

I started this blog in 2013, months before being deployed to Afghanistan.  The primary purpose of Story of My Life was to tell stories while deployed so that my family could follow along with some of my day-to-day activities, the stuff I was allowed to share anyway.  I made a few posts leading up to deployment.  And then I made a few posts while deployed.  This was the beginning of my blog, the early stages.  Then I went two years before making a new post in 2016. 

After coming home from Afghanistan, I spiraled into the lowest, rock-bottom place I’ve ever been in my life.  It was during a counseling/therapy session at the local Veterans Affairs clinic that I was asked what I like to do that makes me happy.  Writing.  I have always enjoyed writing.  It was suggested that I start writing again.  So, in 2016, I did.  I started writing again and posting to my blog.  And then some amazing things happened.  It unexpectedly took off.

When I came back to writing in 2016, I wrote for my own personal therapy, to clear my mind.  I wrote about my struggles after coming home from war.  I told some stories from when I was in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I occasionally mixed in some fiction, poetry, stories of my kids, and a couple funny posts.  And I shared them on my blog so my family could understand what was going on in my mind and what I was going through.  I wanted them to have an idea of what I and others endured while serving our country and especially how difficult it was coming home and trying to get back to being “normal” again.  At that time, it was mostly just a few family members that followed my blog.

But, as it turned out, my stories resonated with people out there in the blogosphere and Story of My Life began to get a following.  Somehow people were finding my blog.  People I didn’t know were commenting and messaging as to how one of my stories helped them or their veteran loved one or how they could relate to what I was saying, how I was being a voice on topics that they felt uncomfortable voicing themselves.  Not only was my writing helping me work through my own problems and issues, but it was also well received by others.  That made me feel good, like I was making a difference. 

So I kept writing.  And Story of My Life kept getting new readers.  In 2018 alone, my blog had over 186,000 views.  In just a single month in 2018 I had more views than the previous five years combined!  I was floored.  I never imagined my little blog would blow up like that.  That’s certainly not why I started it.  And then, for whatever reason, I stopped.  I didn’t post anything in 2019.  I did a few posts in 2020 and 2021. Then nothing.  Four years without doing anything on here.  I think I know why.

I got lazy?  I got tired?  I got busy?  I had other things to do?  Any or all of these could be a reason to stop.  It wasn’t from lack of motivation.  I have over a dozen pieces I started writing during my four years of down time.  A couple of them I even finished.  But I didn’t post any of them.  And it wasn’t from running out of ideas to write about.  I would lie in bed quite often thinking about stories and composing them in my head as I tried to go to sleep.  But I wouldn’t write them out like I used to.  Something changed. 

Discipline.  That’s what changed, or more accurately, lack of discipline.  I no longer had the discipline to write and post the way I did before.  Motivation without discipline doesn’t always produce the long-term outcome you might want.  For example, I have two dogs.  Sometimes I get very motivated to sweep the floors because of the amount of dog hair they leave throughout the house.  If I were disciplined, I would sweep the floors once a week and not let it get as bad.  But if I rely solely on being motivated to sweep, the floors will look like I have a dozen dogs and then take longer to clean.  I need to be disciplined with that chore.  And this example can be used for yard work, dishes, laundry, stuff for work or school, relationships, vehicle maintenance, or any task, relationship, or hobby that you’re working on. 

Motivation is temporal, meaning that it is only in the current moment and will fade, like my half-hearted posts in 2020 and 2021. Discipline is ongoing.  That means being dedicated and devoted.  Sometimes it means being on a schedule, having a plan, carrying out a plan, working through obstacles to achieve a goal.  Discipline is so much more than just having motivation, it means making something a priority.  For the two years I wrote and posted almost every single week, I had both motivation and discipline. My motivation helped me to have discipline. I worked my writing into my weekly schedule.  I dedicated time to getting it done, I made it a priority.  And here’s what changed for me as I took that long break from writing.

When I had started writing again in 2016, I saw and felt how it helped me.  It was therapeutic and in some ways it felt like I was releasing bad energy with each post and cleansing my mind.  It was both challenging and relaxing.  Sometimes it was deeply emotional and difficult.  But it gave me something to look forward to each week and I needed that back then.  All these things gave me motivation to write, and led to the discipline to keep it going for two years.  But it was in 2018 that my mind finally calmed from my lowest of low points just three years prior.  I was seeing life more clearly.  I had my mental demons under control with counseling and medication.  I took a really good job with benefits, had a nice place to live, and was doing well in life for the first time in a while.

I no longer needed to write for my own personal therapy, which is the whole reason I had been writing.  So, in 2018, when Story of My Life was as popular as it ever was, or likely will ever be again, I just stopped.  I no longer had the motivation or discipline to do it like I used to.  I would occasionally get a flash of motivation and start writing a new piece.  And a few times I would get just enough motivation to make a new post.  But, overall, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.  I had lost my self-discipline when it came to writing. I didn’t “need” it anymore.

A lot has changed in the last few years for me and I am ready to instill some discipline back into my writing again and share some new stories.  Not because I need it for my own personal therapy, but because I miss writing.  I doubt I’ll post every single week like I did for those two years a while back, but I do have a deep desire to write again, even if it’s just for me and my own entertainment.  But I hope you will enjoy it, too.

I don’t know the exact direction Story of My Life will take, but I do plan to keep it going.  I recently went through my posts and enjoyed seeing the evolution of my writing, revisiting some of the things that inspired me to write.  Some of the posts made me smile, some brought a tear to my eye.  Not all my posts were pretty in subject matter or style, but each one of them is part of who I am and who I was at different times in my life.  And I want to keep doing that, to continue writing and telling stories.  You’re welcome to come along if you want, even if I don’t know yet where we’re going.  Thanks for stopping by today.  Good day and God bless.

Dave

Here’s the spoiled dogs that leave hair all over the place. My wonderful puppies.

Lessons Learned

When I was a young teenager, probably 13 or 14 years old, I had a dog that was a master at climbing the fence and escaping the back yard to roam the neighborhood. Eventually, my dad installed an electric fence kit to the top of the back-yard fence in hopes of curbing the dog’s desire to be free and explore. It should have only taken one jolt from the fence, maybe two, for the dog to no longer try to escape. That beagle sure could climb a fence. I’ve seen dogs that could jump a fence, but that was the only dog I ever saw that could climb one that way.

I was curious about the electric fence. I tapped it with my finger. Nothing. I touched it for a second. Still nothing. I decided to grab hold of it. Not the brightest thing I ever did in my life, but still not even close the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I was “shocked” to learn that the fence worked when I grasped it fully in my hand. It was slightly painful, but a life lesson that I still remember to this day. I won’t be testing anymore electric fences. No need, I satisfied my curiosity and fully understand how they work.

Most of the things we learn in life are directly related to the decisions we make, whether those be good decisions or bad ones. Ever since my children were little, I liked letting them make their own decisions about things when they could. When my two oldest were in pre-school, I would let them choose what to wear each day. Living in Florida, they usually chose shorts and short-sleeve shirts. One morning I told them a cold front was coming through and they should take a jacket. Neither wanted to take a jacket, so I took them to school with only what they had picked out to wear.

By noon that day, the temperature had dropped to a “frigid” 40 degrees. When I picked them up from pre-school, I heard one teacher comment that I should check the weather and dress them accordingly because my children were cold. Really? They weren’t going to die from hypothermia in 40-degree weather on the walk from the classroom to my car. I promise. And they both learned a valuable lesson that day, that sometimes, dad knows what he’s talking about. On the flip-side, on a trip to Colorado in January years ago with the kids, I made sure they had more than enough warm clothes. The trick is to know when to let them decide and when to plan for them. I don’t care what that one teacher thought, I was teaching my young children by giving them all the information available and letting them make the final decision. I think using that philosophy has more than paid off with them.

But what about the times when a decision is made without any idea of what all could possibly happen? And what if a decision is made with the best of intentions, but it turns out to be a disaster? That’s a great ethical question that has been debated for centuries. I don’t have the answer to it, in case you were wondering. During an army reserve weekend years ago, a fellow Service Member found a puppy. There was no collar with identification on the dog. And after asking around, he believed it to be a stray or an abandoned pet. He went to the store and bought a dog bowl, some dog food, and a leash. He was going to give the puppy a home. Since it was a couple hours before quitting time, he put the puppy in the bed of his truck with food and water, and put a collar and leash on the dog and tied it to the inside of the bed of his truck. The puppy climbed up on the wheel well and hanged himself trying to get out of the truck. The man’s intentions were pure gold, but the outcome was tragic.

In 2007, I decided to go back in to military service in the army reserves. I wanted to serve my country again and take care of Soldiers as a chaplain assistant. Although my life does not reflect it now, it was a matter I prayed about and truly believed it was something God wanted me to do, so, I rejoined. I still believe that. I volunteered to go Iraq in 2007. Then, I volunteered to go Afghanistan in 2013. My intentions were admirable, but the outcome of my decision cost me my mental health, my physical health, my marriage, relationships, a business, my favorite job I ever had, and who knows what else. I basically lost Me, the Me I used to know, the Me I used to be. I lost my identity. I had even lost my will to live at one point.

There have been times when I would figuratively touch the electric fence just to see what would happened. There were times when I learned from my decisions like my young children did from theirs, in learning that sometimes we should heed the advice or warnings of others. And there was a time when I was like the puppy, trying to escape, even though I didn’t know it would kill me.

All the decisions I’ve made in my life make me who I am today. Same goes for you, too, by the way. I’m grateful and lucky that to have survived some of my decisions. And even knowing what I know today, I would still rejoin the military and serve again. There are definitely some things I would do differently, but I know for certain I made the right decision to rejoin the army reserves. I don’t understand some of the consequences I’ve had to endure since I believe that decision was made with the best of intentions. And I don’t care to debate it or dig into the philosophical principles of whether or not it was the right decision based on the outcome. I’m moving forward with life.

Thank you for reading Story of My Life this week. Good day, God bless.

Dave

Other related posts you might like:

The Irony of Life

Suicide Intervention

The Storm